Some Funny Quotes

 

 

Humor is like pizza even when it’s bad, it’s still good. – Gerry Hopman

It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives. – Author unknown

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. – Author unknown

Sadness, stress and tension come and go. Humor and laughter are forever. – Gerry Hopman

I told my wife that a husband is like fine wine, he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. Author unknown

We get older and wider instead of older and wiser. – Gerry Hopman

Doing nothing is very hard to do….you never know when you’re finished. – Leslie Neilsen

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning, you’re on the job. Slappy White

You can lead a man to congress, but you can’t make him think. – Milton Berle

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar – I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one – Bob Hope

Be good to yourself – interject some humor into your life. – Gerry Hopman

When I was born I was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year and a half. – Gracie Allen

The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it, except they keep coming back. Will Rogers

Why don’t they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on earth. – Will Rogers

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