Humor that is sophisticated, serene and surreptitious , serious humor leads to joy, happiness , enjoyment, entertainment and relief through smile and winks.
THE STOCK MARKET REPORT TODAY:
· Roofs, the sky and helium were up.
· Basements and feathers were down.
· Paper was stationary.
· Lead weights were up in heavy trading.
· Light switches were off.
· Knives were up sharply.
· Cows were steered into a bull market.
· Pencils were down a few points.
· Hiking equipment was trailing.
· Elevators were up.
· Escalators experienced a slight decline.
· Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
· Diapers were unchanged.
· The major shipping lines stayed on an even keel.
· Prunes plum-meted.
· Coca-Cola was Pop-ular among traders.
· Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
· The sun peaked at mid-day.
· Balloon prices were inflated.
· There was heavy trading in metals.
COMMUNICATION IN COURT
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.” “No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?” “It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,” she responded. “I mean,” he continued, “What are your relations like?” “I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband’s parents.” He said, “Do you have a real grudge?” “No,” she replied, “We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.” “Please,” he tried again, “is there any infidelity in your marriage?” “Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes.” “Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you up?” “Yes,” she responded, “about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.” Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, “Lady, why do you want a divorce?” “Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied. “I’ve never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can’t communicate with me.”
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said “OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the fourth time this month and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!”
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, “I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii but I’m scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?”
The genie laughed and said, “That’s impossible. Think of the logistics of that! It would have to be over a thousand miles long, with tens of thousands of supports, each over a mile long. Think of just how much concrete and steel that would require!! No, I can’t do it, think of another wish.”
The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish.
Finally, he said, ” I’ve never been able to please a woman—no matter how much I do for them, it’s never enough. I wish that I could truly understand women… know what they really want… and know how to make them truly happy….”
The genie’s reply: “Do you want that bridge to be two lanes or four?
LUCK OF THE IRISH
Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland.
The other guy responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!”
The first guy says, “So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?”
The other guy answers, “I’m from Dublin, I am.”
The first guy responds, “Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?”
The other guy says, “A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.”
The first guy says, “Faith and begora it’s a small world, so did I!
And to what school would you have been going?”
The other guy answers, “Well now, I went to St. Mary’s of course.”
The first guy gets really excited, and says, “And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?”
The other guy answers, “Well, now, I graduated in 1964.”
The first guy exclaims, “The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar on this very night. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary’s in 1964 my own self.”
About this time, another guy walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer.
The bartender walks over shaking his head and mutters, “It’s going to be a long night tonight, the Murphy twins are drunk again.”
Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, “What is your IQ?” to which the man answers “241.”
“That is wonderful!,” says Albert. “We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory, black holes, quantum physics and the cosmology of the Universe. We will have much to discuss!”
Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, “What is your IQ?” To which the lady answers, “114.” “That is great!,” responds Albert. “We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!”
Albert goes to another person and asks, “What is your IQ?” to which the man answers, “51.”
Albert responds, “How ’bout them Cowboys?”
A guy walks into a bar and yells, “Want to hear a Polish joke?
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, I think you should
know something. Our bartender is Polish; the bouncer is Polish. I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb black
belt from Poland. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2″, weighs 225 and he’s a Polish rugby
player. The fella to your right is 6’5″ pushing 300 and he’s a Polish wrestler. Think about it,
Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?”
The guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
A man was taking it easy, laying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God.
“God”, he said, “how long is a million years?”
God answered, “In my frame of reference, it’s about a minute.”
The man asked, “God, how much is a million dollars?”
God answered, “To me, it’s a penny.”
The man then asked, “God, can I have a penny?”
God answered, “In a minute.”
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about
his sudden change in “fashion sense.” The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know
you were into earrings.”
“Don’t make such a big deal, it’s only an earring,” he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, “So, how long have you been wearing one?”
“Ever since my wife found it in my truck!”
The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don’t speak the same language. For instance, Take the simple phrase “secure the building”.
The Army will post guards around the place.
The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters.
The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money.
The gang was very happy to escape. “It ain’t so bad,” one crook noted. “We got $25 between us.”
The boss screamed: “I warned you to stay clear of lawyers… we had $100 when we broke in!”
An attorney passed on and found himself in heaven, but not at all happy with his accommodations. He complained to St. Peter, who told him that his only recourse was to appeal his assignment.
The attorney immediately advised that he intended to appeal, but was then told that he would be waiting at least three years before his appeal could be heard.
The attorney protested that a three year wait was unconscionable, but his words fell on deaf ears. The lawyer was then approached by the devil, who told him that he would be able to arrange an appeal to be heard in a few days, if the attorney was willing to change venue to Hell.
When the attorney asked why appeals could be heard so much sooner in Hell, he was told, “We have all of the judges.”
A little boy’s father was a rector in a small church.
One day, his father told him that a very important bishop was coming and that he would be staying with them. The little boy became very excited and asked his father if he would get to meet him.
His father thought about this and decided that he would let the boy bring the bishop tea in the morning and wake him up. His son agreed to do this and was very excited.
His father gave him instructions: first, knock on the door of the bishops room and then say to him “It’s the boy, my Lord, it’s time to get up.”
The little boy was very excited and rehearsed his lines repeating them ove rand over. Finally the day came and he had learned all his lines.
He went to the door and knocked. He was so excited and nervous though that his lines got mixed up and the boy said, “It’s the Lord, my boy, and your time is up!!”
Tommy had reached school age. His mother had done everything she could to make him enthusiastic about the idea. She bought him new clothes, told him about the new friends he’d meet, and so on.
When the first day came, Tommy eagerly went off and came back home with a lot of glowing reports about school.
The next morning when his mother woke him up, he asked, “What for?”
She told him it was time to get ready for school.
“What? Again?” he asked.
Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Sarah: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Billy: Seven… Teacher: Let’s try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?
Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Billy: I’ve already got one rabbit at home now!
A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.”
The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”
The little girl replied, “My homework.”
THE FUTURE OF CUSTOMER CARE
Operator : “Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your…”
Customer: “Heloo, can I order..”
Operator : “Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?”
Customer: “It’s …,hold on……6102049998-45-54610”
Operator : “OK… you’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 40942366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566.
Which number are you calling from now Sir?”
Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?”
Operator : “We are connected to the system Sir”
Customer: “May I order your Seafood pizza…”
Operator : “That’s not a good idea Sir”
Customer: “How come?”
Operator : “According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir”
Customer: “What?… What do you recommend then?”
Operator : “Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee P! izza. You’ll like it”
Customer: “How do you know for sure?”
Operator : “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Hokkien Dishes” from the National Library last week Sir”
Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?”
Operator : “That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99”
Customer: “Can I pay by credit card?”
Operator : “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.”
Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives”
Operator : “You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today”
Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?”
Operator : “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle…”
Operator : “According to the details in system , you own a Scooter,…registration number 1123…”
Customer: ” *’!^ *%^**%^I7*”
Operator : “Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1997 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman… ?”
Operator : “Is there anything else Sir?”
Customer: “Nothing… by the way… aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?”
Operator : “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic……. “
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.
The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him” .
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s
Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘that’s Michael. He’s a doctor.'”
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher. She’s dead.”
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher: paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute .”
The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.
The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.
The consultant’s finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering. After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the American team’s management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.
The next year, the Japanese won by two miles!
Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.
APPLICATIONS IN (NOT SO) ENGLISH
1. A candidate’s application: “This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ‘typist and an accountant – Male or Female’… As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both, I am applying for the post.
2. An employee applied for leave as follows: Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one week leave.
3. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: “Since I’ve to go to the cremation ground and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave”
4. A friend of mine had written a leave letter to the headmaster: “As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today”
5. A family friend of ours told an incident of his friend’s letter “I am suffering from fever, please declare holiday to the school”
6. Another leave letter written to the headmaster: “As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day”.
7. A covering note “I am enclosed herewith…”
8. Another leave letter written to Administration dept: “As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave.”
9. Actual letter written for application of leave: “My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave”.
10. Letter writing: – “I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well”
A large two engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down.
“No problem,” the engineer thought, and carried on at half-power. Further on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill.
The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement:
“Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that this is a train and not a plane.”
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
“I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death.
“When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”
“That’s wonderful,” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”
“The guy was your doctor.”
A cop pulls a young guy over:
“Hello officer” said the smart aleck kid.
“Young man did you see that stop sign?” asked the cop.
Yup, but I didn’t see you!
When a doctor remarked on a new patient’s extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, “high blood pressure, Doc. It runs in my family.”
“Your mother’s side or your father’s?” the doctor asked. “Neither,” the patient replied. “It’s from my wife’s family.” “Oh, come now,” said the doctor “How could your wife’s family give you high blood pressure?” He sighed. “You oughta meet’em sometime, Doc!”
A man walks into a bank and says he wants to borrow
$200 for six months. The loan officer asks him what
kind of collateral he has. The man says ‘I’ve got a
Rolls Royce — keep it until the loan is paid off
— here are the keys.’
Six months later the man comes into the bank, pays
back the $200 loan, plus $10 interest, and regains
possession of the Rolls Royce.
The loan officer asks him, ‘Sir, if I may ask, why
would a man who drives a Rolls Royce need to borrow
two hundred dollars?’
The man answers, ‘I had to go to Europe for six months,
and where else could I store a Rolls Royce for that
long for ten dollars?
The boss called one of his employees into the office.
“Rob,” he said, “you’ve been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department.
“Just four short months later, you were promoted to vice-chairman. Now it’s time for me to retire, and I want you to take over the company.
“What do you say to that?”
“Thanks,” said the employee.
“Thanks?” the boss replied. “Is that all you can say?”
“I suppose not,” the employee said.
Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job, and both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the department manager.
Upon completion of the test, both men had only missed one of the questions on the test. All the other questions were answered correctly. The manager went to Murphy and said, “Thanks to both of you for your interest, but we’ve decided to give the American the job.”
Murphy said, “And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish, I should get the job!”
The manager replied, “We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed.”
“And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?” asked Murphy.
The manager replied, “Simple. The American put down for question five, ‘I don’t know.’ You put down, ‘Neither do I.’
James is walking on a downtown street one day, and he happens to see his old high school friend, Harry, a little ways up ahead.
“Harry, Harry, how are you?” he greets his old buddy after getting his attention.
“Not so good,” says Harry.
“Why, what happened?” James queries.
“Well,” Harry says, “I just went bankrupt and I’ve still got to feed my family. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“Could have been worse,” James replies calmly. “Could have been worse.”
A month or so later, James again encounters Harry, in a restaurant.
“And how are things now?” he asks.
“Terrible!” says Harry. “Our house burned down last night.”
“Could have been worse,” says James, again with total aplomb, and goes about his business.
A month later, James runs into Harry a third time.
“Well, how goes it?” he inquires.
“Oh!” says Harry. “Things just get worse and worse. It’s one tragedy after another! Now my wife has left me!”
Harry nods his head and gives his usual optimistic-seeming little smile, accompanied by his usual words: “could have been worse.”
This time Harry grabs James by the shoulders.
“Wait a minute!” he says. “I’m not gonna let you off so easy this time. Three times in the past few months we’ve run into one another, and every time I’ve told you the latest disaster in my life. Every time you say the same thing–“could have been worse.”
This time, for God’s sake, Harry, I want you to tell me–How in Heaven’s name could it have been any worse?”
James looks at Harry with the same little wisp of a smile.
“Could have been worse,” he says. “Could have happened to me.”
A violinist is playing a concert at Carnegie Hall. He finishes the piece. Voices in the audience shout, “Again! Play it again!”
The violinist is pleased. He plays the piece all the way through a second time.
“Again!” the voices shout once more. “Play it again!”
The musician’s self-satisfaction knows no bounds: this is Carnegie Hall, and I’m asked to play not one, but two encores?
When he finishes, the voices rise yet a third time, and the same thing happens after several more repetitions.
Incredulous, the violinist finally walks to the front of the stage and addresses the audience: “Seven encores of the same piece at Carnegie Hall? It’s unheard of! Am I that good?”
The audience members shout as one voice:
“You’ll do it until you get it right!”
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see”
Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars”
“What does that tell you?” enquired Holmes.
Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful clear day tomorrow. What does it tell YOU?”
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. “Watson, you idiot, some bastard has stolen our tent”
An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
An archaeologist is a person who’s career lies in ruins.
An architect is someone who makes beautiful models, but unaffordable realities.
An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.—- Mark Twain
An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value
An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decrease
chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
An archaeologist is a person who’s career lies in ruins.
An architect is someone who makes beautiful models, but unaffordable realities.
An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.— Mark Twain
A chemical engineer is a man who is doing for a profit what an organic chemist only does for fun.
A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
Laurence J. Peter
An editor is a person employed on a newspaper whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.
A journalist is someone who spend 50% of its time not saying what he knows and 50% of its time talking about things he doesn’t know.
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a “brief”.
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn’t there.
Charles R. Darwin
A modern artist is one who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth.
A philosopher is a person who doesn’t have a job but at least understands why.
A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.
A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
A psychologist is a man whom you pay a lot of money to ask you questions that your wife asks free of charge.
A schoolteacher a is disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.
A sociologist is someone who, when a beautiful women enters the room and everybody look at her, looks at everybody.
A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
A topologist is a man who doesn’t know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:”Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?”
The survey was a huge failure…
In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant. In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant. In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” meant. In China they didn’t know what “opinion” meant. In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solution” meant. In South America they didn’t know what “please” meant.
And in the USA they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” meant.
SAYING GOODBYE TO MOTHER……
You don’t have to own a cat to appreciate this one! You don’t even have to like ’em!
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the back yard, scoots back into the front door.
We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.
Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn’t want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, ‘He’s just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.’
A few minutes later, I get into the cab. ‘Sorry I took so long,’ I said, as we drove away. ‘That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!
The cab driver hit a parked car.
WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS
Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address:
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My loving wife
Subject: I’ve arrived Date: April 6, 2006
I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!!!!!