NEW HUMOROUS/SATIRICAL ONE LINERS

 

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue. – Dilbert

Always remember that you are absolutely unique… Just like everyone else…

As the joker said, if you are good at something why do it for free…

humorDon’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.

Even people who are good for nothing can bring smile on your face, when pushed down the stairs…

Going to temple/church/mosque doesn’t make you a human, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car…

Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.

I love my life, but it just wants to be friends…

I never admit or deny anything it makes things more interesting.

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